First, I would like to announce, that after spending two days in the 9-bunk closet at Stop and Drop Hostal, I have changed to a fabulous hostal, the Flying Dog. Which is the same price and includes breakfast at the restaurant next door!

Sign in my new hostal:
Pisco is Peruvian.
The long-standing pisco duel between Peru and Chile continues...

As my time in Lima was coming to an end, I decided to sign up to go swimming with the sea lions at Isla Palmino.
But before I can get to the sea lions, I have to talk about the Twitchers.
WARNING: The following material is for mature audiences only. To view, you must be at least 18 years of age, or accompanied by an adult or legal guardian.
My story begins as I board the boat for my tour, filled with anticipation and excitment about swimming with the sea lions. I pay no attention to what looks like a typical group of camera-toting-large-brim-hat-wearing European tourists. But soon I start to notice something is wrong, very wrong...
Immediately, this guide pops out of nowhere with an electronic GPS and starts pointing out birds left and right. "Peruvian Boobies, 2:00. Comorant, 12:00. Pelican, 6:00." Suddenly, binoculars are being whipped around left and right. Everyone is talking about things I don´t understand like, "I think that is a Petrel Pelecanoides garnotii." And responding with, "NO! They have a darker back and are only found 35 nautical miles off shore!"
I start panicking. Oh my god! Did I get on the wrong tour? Where are the sea lions? Why am I not hearing about what the sea lions like to eat or why there are 6500 of them flopping around the little island we are supposedly heading to? Something...anything about the sea lions.
While I am pondering this, some bird is annouced to be flying at 4:00 and suddenly lenses that should only be carried by photojournalists for National Geographic are being whipped out of the large-brim-hat-wearing-tourists´ back packs.
Alright. Am I being Punked? Someone just pulled out a tripod on the boat. I´m definately being Punked.

I decide that I need to take action before I am abducted by this crazy group of bird-watchers, or worse, chopped up and thrown into the ocean in an attempt to attract some new meat-eating birds for viewing.
I decide to try to make contact with the one carrying the smallest camera.
ME: "Umm, excuse me, is this the sea lion tour?"
SMALL CAMERA FEMALE: Confusion
ME: "Are you all together?"
SMALL CAMERA FEMALE: "Yes, we are from Britain. We are on a 17 day bird-watching tour of Peru."
ME: "And is that your group´s personal guide?" I motion to the guy with the GPS.
SMALL CAMERA FEMALE: "Yes!"
It is at this point that I notice the REAL guide for what is NORMALLY the sea lion tour cowering in the rear of the boat.
Anyway, we chat for a bit and she talks a little bit about bird-watching which includes a mention of "twitchers," who are apparently the most fanatical bird watchers. I guess they travel the world and study weather and migratory patterns so that they can spot as many rare birds as possible. Why? I have no idea...maybe the twitcher with the biggest list at the end of his life gets bragging rights. Anyway, she insists that none of THEM are twitchers. Yet, the whole time on the boat, lists are being made and names of birds are being checked off.
I am frightened by this crazy subculture of bird watchers. When I tell them I find it bizarre how they don´t even really care to watch the birds, only spot them for one second and cross them off some list, I am met with the response that I am more of a bird watcher then. from this point on, I decide to sit quietly until we reach the sea lions, go for my swim, and then sit quietly out of sight on the way home. But I am secretly pondering how I am going to make a horror movie titled, Twitchers: The Kill of the Chase.
An excerpt from Wikipedia:
"Twitching" is a British term used to mean "the pursuit of a previously located rare bird". The end goal of twitching is often to accumulate species on one's lists. Some birders engage in competition with one another to accumulate the most prolific species list.
In the United Kingdom there exists a particular
twitchers' vocabulary which is surprisingly well-developed and potentially confusing to the uninitiated. In the UK for example, "dipping" is the act of missing a rare bird you attempted to see, "gripped off" is how you feel when other twitchers see a particular bird but you did not, "suppression" is the act of concealing news or location of a rare bird from other twitchers, and a "dude" is someone who is uneducated or ill-informed about rare birds. Similar vocabularies have developed in other countries where twitching is popular.